A friend of ours was talking to her son when he butted in and said ” Mom , you are making the wrong mistake”. It was a unique statement and it kind of just stuck with me.
One very Wrong mistake that People do when they are faced with challenges is – they ask the Wrong questions. wrong mistake as our man would put it.
For instance, something bad has happened and, you say something like – why did this have to happen to me? or why do I have to be so unlucky?
these questions carry 2 presumptions.
- You are unlucky
- Bad things happen only to you.
I know you would’nt ask such questions , but I am sure sure you would have come across people who do.
We carry this approach into our Careers. When things dont go the way we planned or promotion is hard to come by. We throw up such questions – why did this have to happen me? or why did only I didn’t get a raise or some such.Problem is that it doesn’t help. and more important it kind of substantiates your underlying presumptions.
Everybody faces challenges , when things dont go as per plan. the better way to handle would to ask something like
What could we have done differently?
what can we learn from this mishap?
Is there something that I could do that makes the episode memorable to all parties concerned in a positive way.
these questions take us out of the trenches and help us to move forward.