Suppose you have trouble with your eyes and you go to an optometrists shop. After briefly listening to your complaint he takes of his glasses and hands them to you.
“Put these on” he says I ve worn this pair for ten years now and have never had a problem.
You try them on and it only makes the problem worse.
“This is terrible” . “I cant see a thing” you say.
“Well whats wrong?” he asks . “They work well for me” . “Try harder.”
“I am trying hard” you insist. “Everything is a blur”
” Well whats the matter with you?” . ” Think positively” ……
What are the chances that you will go back to that optometrist next time you needed help. Very dim.
We have such a tendency to rush in , to fix things up with good advice. But we often fail to spend time and diagnose, to really deeply understand the problem first.
In the words of Stephen Covey – the first step to great interpersonal relations is – ” Seek First to understand, then to be understood”
**This passage is taken from Empathic Communication – Habits of Effective People – Stephen Covey.