Handling Criticism

Steven Covey speaks about reaction and response. But in the midst of the action it takes a really evolved person to differentiate the two.

The eagerness to defend surpasses the reason to be rational.

Tammy Lenski gives some insights on how to handle criticism. But tell you what – this is like homeopathy. The action you choose to take must be already ingrained before the criticism happens.

Coz if that is not so , if you are not mentally prepared to face a blow to your ego – the lizard brain will take control and do the defending for you. And your criticizer might not know what hit him. As it happened in my case.

Nevertheless what Tammy Linski offers are good ways to manage these abrasive situations-

Acknowledge 

Acknowledge is different from accept. Feedback received. Noted. To act upon it or not is a decision that you can take in your time.

Cool Off. 

Give yourself time to respond. It could be 10 minutes or it could be 1 day. Time enough to disconnect from the emotions of the moment.

Accept

Who says the process of self improvement is sweet and smooth. Criticism is bitter, yes, but is the message worth considering.

If so, then however damaging the criticism might be, the treatment needs to be borne.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Manushya Ko Gussa Kyoon Aata Hai?

93-airtelmobile-rs1-mein-video_newdelhi-110513 (1)

Hello Hello!Toot Nahin Raha Hai Kya? I guess most of us will recognize this line from Airtel’s recent video for Re 1 ad campaign.Hope you enjoyed this ad as much as I did.

The video Link to the ad is here.

The transcript is available at the end of the post.

Airtel cleverly used a common everyday emotion and weaved a punchy  storyline around it. Wonderful ad no doubt – but lets spare a thought for the young man. He lost his rupee plus he got some unwanted gyan. Was he justified in kicking the machine? No, Absolutely not. But, was he justified in experiencing anger? Perhaps yes. If we were in the same situation we too would have felt anger or perhaps irritation – though, we might have reacted to the situation differently.

So that brings us to a key question –Why do we get angry ? and more importantly- Is anger Bad?

Turns out that anger is not at all bad. It is just another emotion. It can even be considered healthy. Problem lies in the way we display anger.

Given that anger has benefits – How do we harness this emotion? How do we make anger constructive?

The solution is a three step process Recognize, Diffuse , Transform:

RECOGNIZE

Each of us has an individual anger thumbprint. Maybe you raise your voice, withdraw, clench your jaw or sneer. Here a certain level of self-awareness helps. Knowing you are angry and the reason why you are angry can prepare you for what you do next.

DIFFUSE

Once you know that you are angry – the next step has to be that of response. As Stephen Covey states. Between response and reaction the difference is one of choice. The decision to respond takes time. A few seconds at least to chart out a proper response. A well thought out response will mark you out as a level headed person.

TRANSFORM

Can you modify your environment in some way such that you don’t have to face such anger generating situations? Can you pre-empt it in some way. A fellow member in a community group I am part of had this habit of putting down people publicly. I pre-empted it by discussing it out with him in person telling him that it was leaving a bad impression among the other members.The result has been +ve.

So next time you feel angry , a) don’t ignore the emotion b) recognize why you are getting angry c) channelise it in a positive manner. 

In case you dont want to get into all that hassle – you could download Babaji Ka Video 🙂 Just kidding.

The transcript of the ad :

A young guy at a railway station puts a coin in a weighing machine. It does’nt work leaving  his one rupee stuck inside. He starts to kick the machine to coax out the rupee.

An office goer standing nearby looks over to see the young man in the act

Office goer – in a slightly irritated tone – “Hello Hello toot Nahin Raha hai Kya” (Isn’t it breaking?)

The young man: In an agitated tone – thod kaun raha hai yaar. Ek rupya phans gaya hai mera.( who is breaking it friend, my one rupee is stuck)

Office Goer: Chod na yaar – Ek rupya hi tho hai ( it is only a rupee )

The young man: Acha ek hee rupya hai, tho tu dey. ( Oh is it – Its only a rupee, so you give

Office goer: goes blank for a fraction of a second- pulls out his mobile and displays a Guru – saying “ Manushya ko Gussa Kyoon Aata Hai?) (why does man get angry? ) . The ad ends with the airtel slogan of any video 1 re.

 

Parallel Universe

This Clipping appeared on todays Business Line.

It quotes a minion of the Railways union talking about 2.8 Lakh vacancies in the Indian Railways.

That would be like merging 2 TCS’s ( TCS has around 100000 employees)

My first reaction on reading the news was WTF. I cant imagine how people can come up with such analysis when all one sees on going to the Railways is dirt, delay , and jobless staff.

Its like a section of the population is living in a parallel universe. And there are people like these to lead the so called hard working employees of these massive public sector undertakings.

And guess who pays their salaries?

The Free Pass

I am in one of those Forks in the road of life faced with the situation where we might be parting ways with a family friends of ours. The parting is not amicable – we feel we have been wronged and we are naturally angry.

I have been trying to come to terms with this anger – trying to move on. But you know how it is , when you are angry with someone or something the thoughts somehow keep going back to the same topic. It was in one of those angry moods Thats when I happened to read a blog on this free pass system. 

A witty well written blog and what looks like some honest glimpses of the life of the writer Clotilda.

Whether I am able to apply it successfully or not – it is a wonderfully simple concept. Request you to stop here and read the Blog.

Hope you find it useful. Seriously hope that I do too.