Handling Criticism

Steven Covey speaks about reaction and response. But in the midst of the action it takes a really evolved person to differentiate the two.

The eagerness to defend surpasses the reason to be rational.

Tammy Lenski gives some insights on how to handle criticism. But tell you what – this is like homeopathy. The action you choose to take must be already ingrained before the criticism happens.

Coz if that is not so , if you are not mentally prepared to face a blow to your ego – the lizard brain will take control and do the defending for you. And your criticizer might not know what hit him. As it happened in my case.

Nevertheless what Tammy Linski offers are good ways to manage these abrasive situations-

Acknowledge 

Acknowledge is different from accept. Feedback received. Noted. To act upon it or not is a decision that you can take in your time.

Cool Off. 

Give yourself time to respond. It could be 10 minutes or it could be 1 day. Time enough to disconnect from the emotions of the moment.

Accept

Who says the process of self improvement is sweet and smooth. Criticism is bitter, yes, but is the message worth considering.

If so, then however damaging the criticism might be, the treatment needs to be borne.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Agastya and Lopamudra

When Agastya went out to gather wealth to satisfy Lopamudra’s desire for worldly necessities – he went to a King who was very wealthy.the great sage asked the King to give without causing loss or injury to others. And it is said that the king shared the true picture of the state and asked him to take take whatever he deemed fit.

Agastya, after going through the books found that the States finances did not leave any room for taking out wealth for himself.He told the king ” To seek wealth here would mean hardship for the citizens and decided to seek elsewhere”

Not many in this Yuga would forego such a chance to garner wealth – or perhaps the State really in a very bad shape(nothing in the coffers).

The story of Agastya and Lopamudra on of the great stories of Love and romance in the annals of Indian History and is recounted in many of the great Indian Literary works including Mahabharata.

In a slightly different context – when we are feeling devalued/ hurt our instinct is to do everything to restore what we have lost. Devaluing the person who caused us injury will only lead to more of the same.